15.

Oh yeah, and yesterday was my birthday and I'm finally 15! wooo!

Parents suck.

I hate my parents sometimes. Tomorrow night I am being dragged unwillingly to a family friends 50th birthday party. It doesn't sound that bad, but trust me it is. This family have a 7 year old devil child who scares the shit out of me, she will litterally beat you up if she feels like it, and she is freakishly strong. Plus the fact that on the invite it says that the party will be 'partylicious'. I'm just hoping there will be enough people there that they wont notice if I sink into a corner and text all night. Ugh, just kill me.

Just arrived in the french alps, which just happens to be the place for mountain biking in the summer, which means it's full of testosorone fueled teenage boys - I think I'm gonna like it here;)

I've gone AWOL.

I know I have broken my promise of blogging every day, but I've been kinda busy socialising before I go to France. Which I am not dreading so much any more because my parents have finally given in and I'm taking a friend with me. But it was only a matter of time, I mean c'mon, they rented a six double bedroom chalet complete with cinema suite and hot tub, and there's only five people in my family. It would be just greedy if we didn't share it with others. So what have I done in the past week, well I have spent just about every night at T's house. Oh yeah, and I met some guys. But it's nothing exiting, much to my disapointment I don't think any of them will be a relationship possibility. I met them on friday at monmouth music festival - Europe's biggest free music festival, which ironically is probably Europe's only free music festival, so it's crap. So you have to make your own fun, so the teenagers come in in swarms and everyone gets wrecked, that makes it awesome. So one guy out of the guys I met stood out for me, but guess what? He likes my best friend. Isn't that always how it is? You finally meet a guy who is everything you want (he's unserious, funny, hot - exactly what I want at 15) but he has absolutely no interest in you. It took him like 4 days to even add me on facebook, whereas he added my best friend about an hour after we left the festival, he also got her number. Fucking great. It's time's like these where my heavily dented self esteem takes another bashing. I really don't understand why I am so unlucky, I mean I'm not really unfortunate looking, sure I'm not exactly super-model stunning, but who is? Ugh, oh well, as cheesy as it is... at least I have my friends. I just wish the guys in my school's brother school weren''t such bellends. Then I wouldn't have to go looking for guys! Ah, the joys of being a teenage girl.

Because I'm feeling a little bit emotional.

how much would it suck if you didnt have friends? i mean seriously, you would have no one to bitch about people to, no one to talk about boys with, no one to tell you if what you're wearimg looks shit. it would well and truly suck. last night i had a girly sleepover with my crew, i gotta say, i kinda do reckon that a sleepover is better than like going to a partty, call me gay or whatever. But seriously, i really really love my friends. I think i'm having an emotional moment. but all you people out there without friends, get some, They're awesome.

My head is stuck in the clouds
She begs me to come down
Says “Boy quit foolin’ around”
I told her “I love the view from up here
The warm sun and wind in my ear
We’ll watch the world from above
As it turns to the rhythm of love”

We may only have tonight
But till the morning sun you’re mine all mine
Play the Music low 
and sway to the rhythm of love
Rhythm of love - plain white T's


another song I just can't get out of my head ><

Truth or dare?

Last night was probably one of the most traumatic nights of my life. I went over T's house with two other guys, I don't really know them that well, but T does so. But anyway, after a while of trying to decide what to do, we decided to indulge in a game of truth or dare. I just wanna point out that these guys aren't good looking - like at all, not one bit. But by the end of the night I had been tea-bagged, cock slapped, motor boated and a whole lot of other things I don't even wanna think about. I honest to God think I'm scarred for life now. This morning I got outa there as fast as I could. Oh, and we were kinda drunk, it wasn't just a sober entertainment thing:L but still, ugh, I shudder thinking about it. T did some pretty bad stuff too mind. Meh, I'm sure we'll all laugh about it in a year or so. Although I don't think I can ever face the two guys ever again. I am going to crawl into my bed now until the embarrassment wears off... or just until tomorrow night when I have a party to go to. My summer better start improving soon, I've only got less than two weeks until I'm off to France, and I've only just come back from Portugal last Thursday so I really need to start socialising more while I have the time, I don't think spending all my time at T's house watching tv is doing much for my social standing. Better go start planning some stuff, chow for now.

Because I died my hair lighter :)

awkward.

http://www.mtv.com/shows/awkward/series.jhtml
Because I just started to watch this show, and it's pretty darn awesome.

Help please!

Right, does anyone know how you add that music thing to your blog? You know when you go on someone's blog and they have that little like play button thing and it plays music?:L Well you know what I mean. Does anyone know how you get it on your blog? I have been fiddling around for ages trying to work out how to do it. But I failed ICT. Anyone know how to? Cheeers ma dears.

My headmistress' message to all of us on the last day of term. What a bloody wanker.

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I'm sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm Gonna give all my secrets away..
(8) one republic - secrets


Ugh, I know its old and all that shazz
but I cannot get that song out of my head ><

Ah summer love.

My best friend (or one of them) has just got back from a holiday in Spain and has found 'summer love'. I know I should be happy for her and blah blah blah, but seriously!? I don't even make as much as a new friend when I go on holiday and she's found frickin' love. God damn it. I feel like crawling into a ball of denial. There are over six billion people in this world and I can't even find a boy my age that even likes me. Ugh. Life sucks. Oh look at that, she just came up on my facebook chat freaking out because he came online. I WANT TO FREAK OUT WHEN SOMEONE I LIKE COMES ONLINE. ugh. What makes this suck even more is that I don't even know any guys that I would even consider starting anything up with! And trust me, I do not have low standards, it's just the guys that live where are live are very very low standard wise. So please, anyone out there? Make a girl happy. All interested apply. Ugh. Love+Life? what a joke.

What happens at the campout stays at the campout

So, as I said last night I went to a camp out with one of my friends. I didn't really know the guy who was having the camp out but he was good friends with T. When we first got there there were about 7 of us sat very awkwardly on the village wreck, I have a feeling that this was because me and T were there and they didn't know us very well. The guy who's camp out it was expected about 50 people to turn up but it ended up to be only about 20. I did feel quite bad for him, he was pretty darn upset, but luckily after about an hour he decided to drown his sorrows with alcohol and that's when the party started to get good. There was one incredibly attractive guy there, being me though I didn't have the guts to strike up a conversation with him. There was one other guy there who was pretty hot, but unfortunately he was the reason the camp out went downhill pretty quickly.  After about an hour, we heard screams from the forest, and the hot guy had beaten up his girlfriend and legged it. His gf was pretty shaken up about it, but apparently it had happened before (you kinda wonder why they're still together), but anyway apparently that's how he gets when he drinks alcohol. So after that everyone went looking for him, and then went home. And that was it, not even a goodbye to the guy who was having the party. So me, T, the guy who's party it was and one of his friends went back to his house and hung out for a bit before me and T went home. It sucked that it ended so badly because it was actually pretty good. I didn't even get to lay any groundwork on the nice hot guy (the one that didn't beat up his girlfriend). But after that abrupt ending, I am so in the need for a party. Ugh, summer sucks so far.

Teenage antics.

So, I am currently sat in my bedroom, trying to work out what to wear tonight. As my parents know I am going over to my friends house (we'll call her T), although they think we'll be doing facemasks and watching movies. What they don't know is that we're actually going to a random persons piss-up in the woods. This isn't strange for me, I have been to hundreds of partys and campouts and under 18 clubs and stuff without my parents knowing, I've become somewhat of an expert. I don't like lying to my parents about what I'm doing, but they would go ape shit if they knew. Me going out and getting trashed with mostly strangers is my way of letting off steam, and trust me I have a lot of steam to let off. T is one of my best friends, I've known her since I was 7 so we're super comfortable around eachother, she gets my relationship with my parents so I'm at her house a lot, she also has a super cool mum who lets her do anything she wants. A mum that my mum hates, she would hate her even more if she knew the kind of things she lets us get up to. But luckily my mum knows she cant chose my friends for me. I've done some pretty hard core things in my time, I probably shouldn't go into too much detail on here because... well you don't know who could be reading it. So for all you fellow rebels out there going behind you're parents back, here's the tip of the trade- when you go out, NEVER take your phone. Make sure someone you're with takes theirs, but don't take your own. If you take it you have a big change of drunkenly calling your parents of pocket dialling them or something. And then when you get home and have sobered up, you text them to say you're just going to bed and you ask them what time they're picking you up the next day. No suspicions raised. I'll tell you all about the party later, but for now, chowbella.

FOLLOW ME.

I'm getting angry, I know I said I wouldn't obsess about followers blah blah blah. But part of me doing this was all about trying to find someone somewhere out there that I didn't know, who's going through the same sort of things I know and I can read about their lives. I just wan't some cool blogs to read, is that so much to ask for? So please, If you think that you're blog is cool, and you're my kind of age, and can relate to some of the stuff I've read, just follow me or I dunno I might put my msn up the top and you can add it. But seriously, help me find you.

This what I wan't. It's pathetic I know. But seriously? Having a guy that you can talk to online that lives half way across the world but still loves you? And you know they don't just want some action because, well you're not together. And then one day meeting and getting married and all that shit. I bloody want that! ><

We're not friends just because facebook says so.

I'm not an angry person, I have angry moments, but I'm generally not angry. And I'm not a negative person either, well.. there are some times of a month I can be a little more negative than normal, but generally I'm a totally glass half full, look on everyones bright side kind of girl. But there is one thing I cannot stand- fake teen girls. And when I say 'fake', I don't mean in the whole fake tan and eye lash sense (although that also gets on my tits), I mean like the whole nice to you're face and then bitch kind of girl. Girls in general are bitches, it's in our nature or whatever, there is not one girl on this planet who doesn't have a bitchy side. But I mean c'mon if you're going to make an effort at least be bitchy the whole time, not just when only certain people are listening in- trust me it gets out. There is a certain girl in my year who is the dictionary definition of 'fake bitch'. For the purposes of this let's just call her X. X is nice, sometimes, she's the sort of girl who is nice to your parents, and is nice to you- when it's convenient for her of course. But then as soon as you walk away she slags you off, and when you're there and its not convenient for her, she'll make sure you know it. Although, I have to admire her, she has a talent. She can slag you off, in front of everybody, and no one else will even notice. It's like little comments that people will think are funny, because they're not aimed at them, but to the person they're aimed at, they're down right mean. 

This will probably surprise you, but this girl is actually my friend. Well, I say friend, but what I really mean is that she is in my group of friends. Well one of my group of friends. I'm a drifter so I drift between two main groups. The problem with her though is, she is literally perfect. She has bleach blonde hair, she's tanned, has an amazing body, (guys literally dribble when she walks past) and she's super smart. So, obviously people think she's nice. And she is, when being nice can gain her power, popularity or free booze. So just a little tip for all you bitches out there. If you're a bitch, show it. At least then people will know what you're really like and you'll have real friends. If you have a problem with someone, tell them. Don't talk about it with your friends. Oh and just because you're a bitch, doesn't necessarily mean you're a bad person. Think about it. 

A little more info.

So, since my last post my page views have increased by 3. All you pro bloggers out there might think that's still pretty pathetic, but myself- I'm pretty darn happy. So, to entice all you ravishing creatures to continue to view my blog, and maybe even follow me;) lets tell you a little more. I'm a teenager. I'm a girl. I'm straight. I hate ginger. (the food not the hair type, all you ginger people out there, you rock). I'm blonde. (at the moment) I'm english. But live in Wales. I'm funny. (or so i've been told). And I am ready to broadcast my life on the internet. Oh and I have a fantasy about meeting an american guy online and falling in love and one day meeting and getting married. If you're not enticed by that...... well, I wouldn't be surprised. But this is all the follower begging I'm gunna be doing. I figure once I get a few people will realised how fantastically interesting I am and the followers will come rolling in, (I'm hoping anyway). I'm out.

Followers? Ughh.

So, after one day of being a blogger I have discovered that in order for people to actually see you're blog, the best idea would be to get some followers. I mean, seriously? Within a couple of days I will probably become obsessed with getting followers to upstage my pathetic number of ZERO followers right now. It's really crushing my self esteim. Right now, on that embarrassing 'stats' button on my homepage it's telling me that I have had 1 page view. Thats one. Just one. Which probably means that write now I am wasting 5 minutes of my time writing to no one. Although, I complain but, do I really want people to read my blog? I mean, I suppose posting this on the internet if I didn't want people to read it would be a pretty stupid thing to do. But, when my brother insisted on seeing what I was doing on my blog I nearly had a panick attack and deleted my blog so he couldn't see it. I have concluded that I really really don't want anyone I know to look at my blog. I would much rather share my personal thoughts and feelings with strangers. Hey, I might even make some online friends through this, even though that probably doesn't seem very safe or whatever. So please, anyone wan't a new friend? Apply here. But for now, I think I'm gunna just focus on getting my page views up. Friends come later. Chow for now. 

First Blog. Be nice.

So, I have decided that there is no better way to share my personal thoughts than to publish them onto the internet, for those of you so bored that you're actually reading this, I may as well give you a little background info before I go ranting on about how my lifeand all that shizz, oh and a pre-warning- I tried tumblr, and after a few weeks I was litterally writing paragraphs about how depressed I was and how I felt so alone and blah blah blah. But don't worry- I was way more pathetic back then, This isn't gunna be one of those emo, sad girl,my life sucks  kill me now sorta thing, Although there may be the occasional rant when I'm PMSing or something.
So here it goes... I'm 15. Basically, well in about 27 days. So I guess I'm 14, but nor for long:) I live in Wales. The sad reality that that is. South Wales to be exact. In a village. In the middle of bloody no where. Well not totally in the middle of nowhere, near enough to Cardiff and Bristol that I get enough of an urban scene to stop me going insane. I go to a private all girls school in a nearby town, where they teach us to be 'respectable ladies of society'. But trust me I am far from that. My parents don't know that though. They know I'm difficult, they know I have a short temper and I don't take any crap, but they have no idea what I do when I'm out. But I guess If I don't give up on this blogging thing by tomorrow then you'll find all about that soon enough.
My love life is non-existent. I'm the sort of girl that guys go to if they want some action but then forget about you the next day. I don't blame them though, I am defiantly not girlfriend material. I have never had a boyfriend. Ever. I've guys quite a few guys ask me out before, but I get scared and turn them down. Even if I like them. So any guys out there that like enraged, shallow teenage girls scared of having a boyfriend, give me a call;).
For now that's all you have to know about me, but there is one more thing. If you think I'm just another one of those teenage girls who think there life sucks and all they think about is boys and looking good, then you're wrong. It may be because I go to twatty stuck up girls school and I live in a teenage-less village, but I'm not like any of the girls I know. So if you're still interested, I'll blog just about every day.... maybe. So.. Over and out.